To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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