she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
