If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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