Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize