Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
