You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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