The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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