The maid of honor just puked.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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