EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
