I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize