can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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