You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize