I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
