Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
