ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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