it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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