My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
