he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
