I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
