we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
