Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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