Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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