Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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