I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Houston, we have a blender
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize