his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Alive.
So much puke
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
