I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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