just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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