i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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