i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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