Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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