Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize