belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
