Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
