3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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