Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
a search helicopter?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
