WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
