True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
