So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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