You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
