You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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