I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
