i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize