I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
