If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize