a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
