I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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