I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize