Do you still have your period?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You smell like stripper and shame
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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