I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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