Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
