I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
