My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she looked like the before picture.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize