Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
