I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
