can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
