elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
