what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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