She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
